“Present” Parenting: Back on the Right Road

     Parenting in today’s time has become extremely challenging because of more parents entering the workforce, the fast pace of modern society, and declining role of the family (Jeynes, 2003).  Parents are struggling to make ends meet by working multiple jobs that compete with their time to spend with their families.  However, despite the financial demands facing parents, parents have a legal and moral obligation to their children – be present parents.  Present Parenting refers the presence of parents in their children’s lives; parents playing an active role in their children’s lives.  There are far too many children and young people being allowed to navigate this adult world independent of a parent. We must get “Present” Parenting back on the right road!

    There are three categories of parenting styles in which parents fall that may be a factor that impacts their level of involvement in their children’s lives: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive parenting styles.  Each parenting style renders a different parent-child relationship which could also influence parents’ level of involvement in their children’s lives, including their education (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Which type of parent are you?

    Parents using an authoritarian parenting style confine and punish their children; they demand adolescents comply with their rules and meet their expectations for work and effort (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Authoritarian parents enforce strict boundaries on young teens and do not compromise; the parent is the boss and assume complete control over the young adolescents’ behaviors and activities (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  The parent-child relationship consists of giving of commands by the parent, with little other communication present (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Behaviors that are common in children who have authoritarian parents are anxiety, failure to initiate activity, ineffective social interaction; children are unhappy, fearful, and become anxious about comparing with others (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting style instills fear in the young person and increases stress which could produce negative academic outcomes.

    An authoritative parenting style creates developmental outcomes of self-reliance, achievement motivation, pro-social behavior, self-control, cheerfulness, and social confidence (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Authoritative parenting practices are also demanding, warm, and involved; protects adolescents from early initiation of problem behavior (Mo & Singh, 2008). Authoritative parenting facilitates the development of school engagement, academic performance, and future social competence (Mo & Singh, 2008).  Parents advocate independence while still maintaining boundaries and structure over actions (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Compromise and flexibility are a great part of authoritative parenting, which allows the regulation of behaviors through explanation rather than enforcing stern punishment (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting is ideal for producing positive academic outcomes because clear expectations are set while helping children and young teen’s independently make appropriate life choices.

    The parent using the permissive parenting style initiates diminutive amounts of control and permissive parents are seldom available to aid their children in the decision-making processes (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  There are two separate techniques used in permissive parenting; permissive indifferent and permissive indulgent parenting styles.  Permissive indifferent parents do not participate in their children’s lives, but are extremely impassive (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Children and adolescent behaviors include lack of self-control, social incompetence, inability to handle independence, and low self-esteem; behavioral patterns of truancy and delinquency are also evident (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Permissive indulgent parenting style creates a completely accepting and submissive parent, they give into every request of their child or young adolescent (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Permissive indulgent parents are extremely involved in their children’s lives but encourage freedom in behaviors and actions (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Behaviors common to children of permissive indulgent parents are a disregard for rules and the expectation that anything is allowed, which leads to a lack of respect and inability to control personal behaviors (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting style is the least effective for children and young adolescents and does not produce positive academic outcomes; the young adolescents are prematurely encouraged to navigate through the academic arena independently.

   It is clear that Authoritative parenting style produces the most positive parent-child relationship.  The ultimate goal of parenting is to ensure offsprings are released into society as productive citizens.  “Present” Parenting requires parents to be available for their children atalltimes.  Children should never have to worry as to whether or not their parents will be available for them; parents should always be available for their children, even until adulthood.

    Parenting is difficult work and requires consistency.  Similar to driving a car, “Present” Parenting requires the full attention of the parent.  When driving a car, the driver must pay full attention to the road and the vehicle when actively driving; the same holds true for “Present” Parenting, parents must pay full attention to their children and the activities in which their children are involved.  So if your parenting style needs adjustment, then make the adjustments for your children’s sake. Or if you know someone who needs to adjust their parenting style, share this article with them.  Let’s get parents back on the right road and stay in the correct lane of “Present” Parenting.

Cripps, K. & Zyromski, B. (2009). Adolescents’ psychological well-being and perceived parental involvement: Implications for parental involvement in middle schools. Research in Middle Level Education. 33(4), 1-13.

Jeynes, W.H. (2003).A meta-analysis: The effects of parental involvement on minority children’s academic achievement. Education and Urban Society. 35(2), 202-218. doi: 10.1177/0013124502239392

Mo, Y., & Singh, K. (2008). Parents’ relationships and involvement: Effects on students’ school engagement and performance.Research in Middle Level Education. 31(10), 1-11.