“Present” Parenting: Back on the Right Road

Roadway

     Parenting in today’s time has become extremely challenging because of more parents entering the workforce, the fast pace of modern society, and declining role of the family (Jeynes, 2003).  Parents are struggling to make ends meet by working multiple jobs that compete with their time to spend with their families.  However, despite the financial demands facing parents, parents have a legal and moral obligation to their children – be present parents.  Present Parenting refers the presence of parents in their children’s lives; parents playing an active role in their children’s lives.  There are far too many children and young people being allowed to navigate this adult world independent of a parent. We must get “Present” Parenting back on the right road!
    There are three categories of parenting styles in which parents fall that may be a factor that impacts their level of involvement in their children’s lives: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive parenting styles.  Each parenting style renders a different parent-child relationship which could also influence parents’ level of involvement in their children’s lives, including their education (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Which type of parent are you?
Authoritarian parenting  
    Parents using an authoritarian parenting style confine and punish their children; they demand adolescents comply with their rules and meet their expectations for work and effort (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Authoritarian parents enforce strict boundaries on young teens and do not compromise; the parent is the boss and assume complete control over the young adolescents’ behaviors and activities (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  The parent-child relationship consists of giving of commands by the parent, with little other communication present (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Behaviors that are common in children who have authoritarian parents are anxiety, failure to initiate activity, ineffective social interaction; children are unhappy, fearful, and become anxious about comparing with others (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting style instills fear in the young person and increases stress which could produce negative academic outcomes.
Authoritative parenting  
    An authoritative parenting style creates developmental outcomes of self-reliance, achievement motivation, pro-social behavior, self-control, cheerfulness, and social confidence (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Authoritative parenting practices are also demanding, warm, and involved; protects adolescents from early initiation of problem behavior (Mo & Singh, 2008). Authoritative parenting facilitates the development of school engagement, academic performance, and future social competence (Mo & Singh, 2008).  Parents advocate independence while still maintaining boundaries and structure over actions (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Compromise and flexibility are a great part of authoritative parenting, which allows the regulation of behaviors through explanation rather than enforcing stern punishment (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting is ideal for producing positive academic outcomes because clear expectations are set while helping children and young teen’s independently make appropriate life choices.
Permissive parenting  
    The parent using the permissive parenting style initiates diminutive amounts of control and permissive parents are seldom available to aid their children in the decision-making processes (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  There are two separate techniques used in permissive parenting; permissive indifferent and permissive indulgent parenting styles.  Permissive indifferent parents do not participate in their children’s lives, but are extremely impassive (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Children and adolescent behaviors include lack of self-control, social incompetence, inability to handle independence, and low self-esteem; behavioral patterns of truancy and delinquency are also evident (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Permissive indulgent parenting style creates a completely accepting and submissive parent, they give into every request of their child or young adolescent (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Permissive indulgent parents are extremely involved in their children’s lives but encourage freedom in behaviors and actions (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  Behaviors common to children of permissive indulgent parents are a disregard for rules and the expectation that anything is allowed, which leads to a lack of respect and inability to control personal behaviors (Cripps & Zyromski, 2009).  This parenting style is the least effective for children and young adolescents and does not produce positive academic outcomes; the young adolescents are prematurely encouraged to navigate through the academic arena independently.
   It is clear that Authoritative parenting style produces the most positive parent-child relationship.  The ultimate goal of parenting is to ensure offsprings are released into society as productive citizens.  “Present” Parenting requires parents to be available for their children atalltimes.  Children should never have to worry as to whether or not their parents will be available for them; parents should always be available for their children, even until adulthood.
    Parenting is difficult work and requires consistency.  Similar to driving a car, “Present” Parenting requires the full attention of the parent.  When driving a car, the driver must pay full attention to the road and the vehicle when actively driving; the same holds true for “Present” Parenting, parents must pay full attention to their children and the activities in which their children are involved.  So if your parenting style needs adjustment, then make the adjustments for your children’s sake. Or if you know someone who needs to adjust their parenting style, share this article with them.  Let’s get parents back on the right road and stay in the correct lane of “Present” Parenting.
Cripps, K. & Zyromski, B. (2009). Adolescents’ psychological well-being and perceived parental involvement: Implications for parental involvement in middle schools. Research in Middle Level Education. 33(4), 1-13.
Jeynes, W.H. (2003).A meta-analysis: The effects of parental involvement on minority children’s academic achievement. Education and Urban Society. 35(2), 202-218. doi: 10.1177/0013124502239392
Mo, Y., & Singh, K. (2008). Parents’ relationships and involvement: Effects on students’ school engagement and performance.Research in Middle Level Education. 31(10), 1-11.

Classroom Management: Having a Vision and Teaching with Urgency

Maintaining a classroom environment that is conducive for learning is one of the most difficult tasks many teachers face in today’s classrooms. Teachers have entered a new age of classroom management (Hardin, 2008). Students of today are not the same as students ten or twenty years ago; students of the past came to school prepared to learn and parents ensured their child’s preparedness. However, families of today have complexed schedules, many children are being raised by grandparents, single parents, and other family members. Parents are not as involved in their child’s school community because of work schedules and life experiences, which means that parental support may be minimal and students’ behavior may go uncorrected by the parent or guardian. Classroom management is not synonymous with discipline and requires the teacher to possess skills that will move a group of students toward achievement without losing learning momentum. Teachers should have in place a classroom management plan that will counteract students’ disruptive behaviors in order to move students toward student achievement. Classroom management as a system combines instruction and management; the main focus of a classroom management plan that is systematic is the building of learning communities.
Student behavior should not be the main focus of classroom teachers; in fact, the main focus of teachers should be student achievement and how to obtain it within their classrooms. Students usually display behavior issues when the work is too challenging or not challenging enough. Teachers must really develop a rapport with students so that they can identify underlying factors of such behaviors. For example, if a student is not very good at reading, he or she may begin acting out during reading time in order to avoid reading. In today’s diverse classrooms, meeting individual needs is more critical than wasting time on minor student infractions (Hardin, 2008). If students are engaged in learning there will be no time for major behavioral disruptions. Classroom management plans benefit the entire classroom environment, students and teachers, because everyone is aware of the expectations set in place for the classroom. Teachers enforce the expectations of the classroom and eventually students will soon enforce the expectations of the classroom with each other, which is the ultimate goal of every classroom management plan.
Have a Vision and Plan for Your Classroom
Students really do want to learn when they come to school, which means teachers and parents need to work together to ensure that learning takes place in the classroom and reinforced at home, when possible. It is vitally important that teachers are prepared when entering the classroom and have a plan or a vision for their classroom. For example, teachers should know how they want their students to turn in homework, or how and when students will be excused to use the restroom. Teachers should communicate with the home environment weekly to ensure that parents or guardians are aware of the classroom expectations. When setting up the classroom environment at the beginning of the school year, teachers should envision in their minds how they want their classroom environment to run. Teachers who plan ahead are usually less likely to experience serious problems with student behavior because by having a plan they are anticipating student behavior that could be disruptive. For example, my first period class is my most difficult group of students. I know that on any given day there could be at least four students who may or may not display disruptive behaviors, so I plan for those disruptions by having a back-up plan. My back up plan entails me focusing on the positive behaviors other students are exhibiting, such as sitting down in their seat, or writing their name and date on their paper. I will say, “I like how Sam is sitting quietly waiting for directions.” When I begin complimenting students who are on task, the students struggling to get on task immediately begin to see what is expected of them and will usually redirect their behaviors. When positive reinforcement does not work I have to resort to consequences which may include moving a student to the reflection area of the classroom, and have them reflect on their behavior by completing a reflection sheet; after class I discuss with the student their reflection and their behavior; I also maintain communication with the parents. Never forget about contacting the students’ parents during difficult times in the classroom; you may have to call in moment the disruptive behaviors are being exhibited. However, combining management and instruction is a perfect way to make students aware of classroom expectations and teaching them new concepts; eventually students will develop habits that reflect the expectations of the classroom.
Teach with Urgency
Education is in a state of urgency because the students we serve are in a dire state, especially students living in poverty. The most important aspects in education are the students. If teachers are not able to manage a classroom effectively then there will be no learning occurring in poorly managed classrooms. It is imperative that teachers be trained in how to effectively manage a classroom to ensure that students are learning in all classrooms. Teachers have to develop a sense of urgency as they plan for instruction and interactions with their students. For example, get to know your students’ likes and dislikes; their learning styles; and their family dynamics. The more you know about your students, the more engaged in learning you can make them. People have become less personable and more self-centered; however, teachers have to be personable and possess a giving heart to get through to their sometimes-difficult students. The field of education is service oriented profession, meaning teachers provide a service to their students and families. Teachers must put their students first and begin developing strategies and techniques that will enable their students to be successful academically, socially, and emotionally. Teachers need to ask themselves, “Am I the solution to the problem or the cause of the problem?” Once teachers begin trying to be the solution to their students’ problems the sooner their classroom can focus on learning and not behavior.
Conclusion
In conclusion, teachers have the control over how students leave their classrooms by creating effective classroom management plans; they can leave our classrooms confident and goal-oriented or frustrated and unfulfilled. Educators have the control to bring about a positive change in our scholars, and I want to leave a positive impact on my students so they can leave a positive impact on the world. Educators have to be able to diagnose the needs of their students and deliver support (Searle, 2013).

References
Hardin, C. (2008). Effective classroom management: Models and strategies for today’s classrooms (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ : Pearson
Searle, M. (2013). Causes and Cures in the Classroom. Alexandria, VA: ASCD

Building and Fostering Relationships

In the new year, I aim to build new relationships, nurture current relationships, and mend broken relationships where possible. In education, especially in middle level education, relationships are essential to successfully educating young minds. Learning from someone who you don’t know is difficult. Remembering my school years, I often think about my most memorable teachers, who often went the extra mile. They shared their own experiences, listened to me, cared about me, and provided their honest feedback to help me become a successful student and better individual. These are traits I want to possess so that I can help my students become successful in school as well. There are four key elements in building trusting relationships: sharing, listening, caring, and providing honest feedback.
1. Sharing Experiences with Students
Students love hearing stories about teachers’ life experiences, whether they are about school or adventures in general. Sharing experiences is a way to connect with young people and it allows them to see you, the teacher, as a real person who experiences trials in life. Sharing also provides you an opportunity to connect emotionally with your students (creates a caring heart). For example, a few years ago one of my students lost her grandmother, and I was able to share my experiences related to my own experiences of losing my grandmother. By sharing my own true, experiences, I was able to build a strong, trusting relationship with the student, that is still in existence today. I am not saying to share intimate details that are inappropriate to share with young people, but share experiences that may help your scholars become more successful in school or in life; filter your sharing experiences to fit your audience. So, this year share more of yourself, your experiences, and your thoughts with your students to help them become better learners.
2. Listen with Intent
Educators are trained to give information to students in ways that will increase their understanding and help them develop their thinking skills. Most often we become so focused on disseminating information to our students until we forget to turn our voices off and tune in our ears. I like to listen to my students engage in productive discussions during class time while working in cooperative learning teams because I gain an understanding about their thinking. I also like to listen to them talk to one another in the hallway during transitions or at lunch time because I learn about their likes and dislikes. I also learn about who likes who; the middle school top ten couples. I learn so much about my students when I listen to their conversations. I also find listening helpful when trying to figure out certain behaviors displayed by my students. For example, when my students arrive to my class with frowns on their faces or tears in their eyes, I take a few minutes to check in with the students who seem upset; it helps me gain insight on underlying factors that may impact the students’ performance while in my class. Listening has helped me learn more about my students and their families. Also, I have learned a great deal of new information from my students, who are also teachers.

3. Demonstrate a Caring Heart
The one thing that stands out from the other character traits my most memorable teachers possessed is a caring heart; they cared about me, which made me want to rise to their highest expectations. When young people know you care, they will do anything to earn your acceptance and rise to the academic challenges. If teachers do not care about their students then they should not be teaching them! Demonstrating a caring heart is the most important factor needed when establishing trusting relationships with your students and families; this is a skill not taught in teacher-preparation courses. The more you care about your students the more willing they will be to learn information from you. Demonstrating a caring heart is especially important when working with students living in poverty. Many of my students come from extremely challenging and negative environments, and they need a trusting, caring adult in their lives to help them feel secure. There are some students who are difficult to love, but I remind myself that these are students in need of love the most. My students know I care and their families know I care as well, which is the reason for my students’ progression toward mastering essential skills that will produce academic success for them. We should care for the students and families we serve.
4. Provide Honest Feedback
Being honest seems to be difficult for people in today’s time. Providing honest feedback is vital to students being successful in your classroom. Students want to know how to get better and it is our duty as educators to help our students become better learners and people. I provide feedback on everything, from handwriting to hygiene; I am preparing my students for life beyond the classroom. Explaining to students ways they can become better “thinkers and doers” is vital to their livelihood in this world. We owe it to our students to provide honest feedback, even when the feedback may sting a little. As educators, it is our duty to demonstrate integrity at all cost; we must be honest with all stakeholders. Being honest with parents is also important and should occur on a more regular basis to ensure students are successful in school. I had one parent say to me “don’t beat around the bush, just say what you need to say.” Sometimes educators find it difficult to share concerning information with parents, such has behavioral problems or failing grades. But keep in mind, parents want the truth about a situation, and they value our honest input. Honest feedback is an essential element to student achievement and building relationships.